Moving on earth's dance floor

short short . . .

2009-10-05T00:45:00.002+08:00

36 more days to be fully called MR FREDS!!

On this note. 8 SIG life is still so ever unpleasant. But it's gonna be over soon. Not a fresh start. But an end to nonsense.

People always leave. When can i stop waving goodbyes to their shadows?

I seemed to be making a list. a very short list of life's calling for me. And i wondered how long could it get when everyone is leaving. Leaving.

But at least i know who are the people who will still be here. 10 years from now and beyond.

2009-09-21T21:11:00.002+08:00

I'm really very very exhausted. Mentally and physically.

yes the nights were fun. From friday night till today , nights have been spent outside drinking.

Friday night was a bomb cos it was drinking games with the cheerios!

Saturday night was crazieeee after hopping to 2 diff clubs!! with lots of shots beer and vodkha unwasted.

Sunday night was another round of drinking.

And monday night is spent getting ready to hate back to camp.

And that's before this coming wed of mambo!

But i can't keep this going forever. It's a pain that is accumulating. But i gotta hold on.

Oh did i mention that this friday's gonna be a camp and i'm doing the camp fire? haha. crazy month of september!

I miss doing weekends with my team . Like seriously. Doing duty with my team is like taking a break from all the havoc and chaos. and especially during the weekends you just feel all the serenity and the peace with that group. as much as they enjoy teasing me , i loveeeeee my team .

ok . where was i? pain ? yea. definitely painful.

The things I lost in that fire,

2009-09-17T20:16:00.006+08:00

At this moment, there are 6 billion, 4 hundred, 71 million, 8 hundred, 18 thousand, 6 hundred, 71 people in the world. Some are running scared.. some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day.. others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good.. struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls -- and sometimes.. all you need is 1.

Stephen King once wrote: 'Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not. Time takes it all, time bears it away.. and in the end.. there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometime we lose them there again."

My service term is coming to an end. And yet through this past 1 years 8 months of being away from education, understanding the freedom we so much seeked, it kinda made me realised how much lost and confused i truely am.

And Hansel said to Gretel, 'Let us drop these breadcrumbs... so that together we find our way home. Because losing our way would be the most cruel of things.

This year.. I lost my way. And losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. But, losing your reason for the journey... is a fate more cruel.

The journey lasted one year eight months. Sometimes I traveled alone, sometimes, there were others who took the wheel -- and took my heart. But when the destination was reached, it wasn’t me who arrived...it wasn't me at all.

And once you lose yourself, you have two choices: find the person you used to be... or lose that person completely. Because, sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you've been. And remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are.

I lost many things in that fire. I lost once important friends. Ones that i may have lost forever. Ones whom i'm losing at this very moment.

I slowly losing every single inch of them as i seeked to find out who i really am. In that very process, i barred them from entering my heart.

IDA Scott Taylor wrote: 'Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.' But can i really live in this tragedy that so burns me alive?

I lost Nicholas in that fire when we lost it.
I lost Toon when that very moment I couldn't last being his friend.
I lost Jeanette when I knew it could never be possible.
I lost Hwee Ying when i Lost jeanette. When i couldn't take her words for it.
I lost my class when i let my emotions swept over.
I lost my secondary school mates when i started on a clean slate.

I am slowly losing my current friends when i start closing my doors.
Deryck Long and Jon Hu calls me F16.
Shawn needs me to find out who i am .
Kenneth is tired of my leaving.
And She, whom i'm not sure if i can keep from leaving.

Peyton Sawyer once wrote, " People always leave" But do they always come back?

Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.

There comes a time when every life goes off course.

In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction.

Will you fight to stay on path? Will others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be haunted by your choice?

Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or simply give up.

I have no idea how. But al i know is that i got to keep treading on this very road. Sometimes, things you lost always have a way to getting back to you. And i hope that i will be able to find everything back. But there will always be things you can never retrieved. Things that were burnt and lost in that fire . . .

I was greatly inspired by these people's thoughts on the following quote. Which one am I? Which one are you?

"There are two tragedies in life: one is to lose your heart's desire, the other is to gain it." -- George Bernard Shaw

Nathan : "As far as I’m concerned, Shaw was a punk! 'Cause you know what? Tragedies happen. What're you gonna do, give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive. 'Cause you are, and that pain you feel: it's life. The confusion and fear.. that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better. And that something is worth fighting for."

Haley: "This year, I got everything I wanted and everything I wished for.. but, in a way, I lost even more."

Lucas: "Shaw was right: as we strain to grasp the things we desire, the things we think will make our lives better: money, popularity, fame... we ignore what truly matters -- the simple things: like friendship, family, love. The things we probably already had."

Peyton: "Yeah, losing your heart’s desire is tragic. But gaining your heart’s desire... It’s all you can hope for. This year, I wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic… then give me tragedy. Because, I wouldn’t give it back for the world."

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There are many things i need to continue finding about myself. September have been truely meaningful and definitely lifechanging. I mean , for a few moments, i know what i want. And the following people have helped me a long way in the road.

My righthand secretary Irene. My good friend.

My buddy whom i found after we left secondary school. We were in the same class for one whole year. Knew each other in the same school for 4 years but never once spoke for more than 4 sentences.

My upper study and his group of friends.

Kohar my dear lil boy .

And not forgetting prolly my closest friend in 8 signal right now. I must be really pathetic.

We all fall down sometimes. But sometimes when you think you fell where it hurt, I'm telling you, it's a good thing I did. That way would I have realised how important being true to yourself was. And not falling into that category of creating Hate and Division.

I'm Freds. And i'm glad to finally belt everything out here. Almost everything. That is.

2009-09-06T20:23:00.000+08:00

I'll never forget the saturday. ever.

Misery Mist

2009-09-01T14:31:00.002+08:00

Rainy Monday. Rainy Tuesdays.
Only means weekdays blues.

I'm here blogging simply because there's absolutely NOTHING to do in camp.
Even though stepping down from official duties is a good thing since ORD is coming close, however, the air of stabbings fills the air in my company office.

I'm just astounded by the lies and backstabbings going on. Being not-so-close-or-friendly to the more dominant people in the platoon probably make my days left more miserable than ever. But i'll survive!

It's about patience and knowing how sure you are of yourself, not to explode. If you don't take part in a bitch war, you'll be the final winner.
SImply cos there's no logic at all in a bitch war. You already said it. It's a bitch war.

An eye for An eye Makes the Whole World Blind. I gladly believe this saying any day. God rewards those for their faith. And those who betrays it, will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Even though i'm a non believer, i believe in justice. Not man-made, but a justice that will let one realise his mistakes =)

I make mistakes all the time, and i'm learning. Are you?

Everyday

2009-08-30T11:59:00.002+08:00

Tumblr has been an extremely addictive tool for me this past 2 weeks. To the extent that Blogger seems to be an extinct memory. But i'm back to spill in text, some thoughts i have had.

I'm in my final duty weekend. And i'm loving every moment of it. The people, the fun and of cos, the food [ I'll reveal abt it later]

The people : Wild, fun , thoughtful and everything NICE!!!

Jin Ying, Mu Lin, Lionel, DOminic, Johann, 2LT Yupo, 2SG Kelvin, ZHong Hao, Jaryl, Sek Huat, Ming de and Wei Kuan.

It's my final duty with them and they're still ever so nice.

I'll miss late night talks with these grp of people whom have completed duties after duties with me. I'm not ORDing as of yet, but i just wanted to show my heartfelt appreciation for the people you know.

For the late night talks, funny conversations, wild behaviours and all the fun we have playing CITADEL. Thanks.

Thanks guys for the AWESOME dinner . EVEN though i was sweating like hell[together with sek huat] . And i had to make a trip to the water cooler 4 times!! But it was a great dinner =) Call me back when you guys are having the next dinner =))

I'll miss team 2.

Ok. i only have 11.5 OFFS and Leaves to clear. How is that enough to even breakaway from camp for 2 whole months?!?!
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On the other hand. It's been official that me and my once good friend are now disassociated, unrelated and definitely not even friends. The only thing he took with him from me are all that he can use to bring me down with . So all the best . For all the lil sacrifices i made, it was worth it. I'm the problem. SO glad you decided not be associated with this problem so that your reputation will not be dragged down with it. You did that once to Marvin, then wei jie and now me. I wonder who else experienced this before us? You know best.

All i want is peace and having no one to bother me for the next 2 months. I'm peace man.

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I realised you make my heart throb up and down everytime i see those smiles on your sms.
I realised you might just be the one.

The break from emo-ness.

2009-08-21T10:42:00.004+08:00

Friday is finally here =)

A big cheers to a full weekend. It's been a while since i caught up with my 2 best buds. And all the other people who rule my world.

Oh yea i finally sound so happy right?

Hmm saying which, there's loads of movies yet to be caught this weekend anyways. Smiles.

Oh yea, life in camp is pretti------ serene. There's always the usual drama and all. But, who cares?
I have my spunky team 2 people there. Mr Ba Yee and Mr hair band always make my day, even though they're 24-7 teasers. ANd Mr Merchant, honest and straight forward =)) Besides my team, There's mr clown there also , i'm not forgetting ya k.

I'm quite sad that i won't be able to run anymore for this period of time. Simply cos my heart's aching up again. haha not heartbreaks la.

Mahjong sessions have been filling up many of my free days. Mahjong , to me is like a bonding session with friends. Since you're playing with friends, it's not money that matters. Or for the fact, winning or losing.

Final duty starts next week !! And i'm looking forward to it. since it's the final time i can spend the weekend with my inmates!

With switchfoot, the script as my all time favorite bands, Life is goooooddd!!

Ok, here's to love and life and friends. Not forgetting Work.

The RUn

2009-08-16T21:27:00.005+08:00

Safra has their Bay Run today, also known as the Army Half MArathon.
I had the important task of running for my formation : SIgnals, thus my Blue SInglet, which was different from the rest of the formation, red.

Well, 21km is sure no easy feat, for me. ANd i totally Under performed. Just so inconsistent and unpredictable. But i completed it and that's waht matters.

What kept me totally motivated was actually towards the end of the race, when running past the F1 Race track, signboard were raised. ANd one particular motivational signboard, had me smile to myself when i was in pain and struggling:

'Pain and Suffering Separates Men from boys.'

I did it's magic, and i started to rise up and surge forward.

Well this year's AHM serves as an experience for me, and a new breakthrough as I realise that In order to succeed, you can't give up !

SIgnal Formation COmpetitive Team !

The Young ones of the team !
[ From Left : REG 3SG Kelvin ong, 3SG Freds, 3SG Toon, CPL Jin Ying, 2LT Kenneth , 3SG Kenneth ]

As the race ended, and there was time to spared since we were not allowed to be dismissed. .

It seemed like AHM was a decade after reunion, cos everyone [ Bravo actually] was taking pictures everywhere!

WIth the ALpha peeps.

Taken with our OPs warrant. Future RSM. He's probably gonna kill me.

My faV Signal Institute sgts!! 3SG wei Jin and 1SG Justin .

My PC , 2LT Yu Po. You can't guess correctly how old he is.

Haha the 2LT sean wong. Funny guy.

Bravo's funny personalities altogether now.

With the new blood of SOTF !

Random faces while waiting for our OC to come into the picture.

Tekong Challenge's Young Ones.

WIth On, KC and Italia!!

BRAVO COY!!!

And a shot which i feel looks weird. WHat the hell am i doing!!

Catching up with past SIgnal Institute course mates!!

[ Left :Yee Hoau, Toon, Solomon, freds and Alvin. ]

TEam 2!!!

And i went Dancing with the great Bollywood tree!!

Me and my fav VSAT Operators!! Mulin and DOminic.

AFter which, was CCI's opening of it's New base @ IMM, where i rushed over. And when i reached, they started amazing race, and there, i had to run again . . .

I'm so tired.

But been very hapy receiving your smses =)

Don't let me go.

2009-08-14T11:27:00.003+08:00

The people whom have been there when the sun crashed upon the horizon.
The listeners when my songs were grey and stormy.
The hands when the pit was bottomless and hungry.
You found me.

There's never anything more gleeful than redemption than escapism.

Sun's AHM competitive 21km is drawing nearer and nearer. In about 40 hours time. And i'm really not prepared at all. Yes enoughs, i have ran and accumulated around 100km over the past 2 months. BUT, after puncturing myself on wed's 5km, i'm not so sure if 21km is even possible.
All the pre-race psychological problems as usual.

I really love my bunk these days. The little resolute hideout i have since the restructuring of the bunk layout suits me =) It's really comfy and dark, my kind of room life. Oh the other hand, it's facing the corridors, so it's still visible to the public eye =(

I am left with simply 1 more duty to go. I'm not really sad that i have to end my duties. I'm actually damn elated that it's drawing close. I don't have much to teach anyways cos it's real time experience that counts and the fundamentals to handling the basic problems have been taught. So i'm sure my understudy will do fine =) Just don't get swallowed up .

I realised that i'm actually very busy yet lazy. I have like tons of proposals to draft out, and marketing and publicity matters to build. And then again, i lack proper time management.

Enough with the sms-es that i'm avoiding you all , i'm coming out of the looming darkness to meet you all for fun and excitement. haha lemme rest up first!!!

I personally thought that this 2 songs below have been very much key to getting me through this past month. ANd it's inspirational . So to all people with sadness and pain, here's to ease and let light up!

With just less than 3 months of grace, i have so much to say . . .
But what comes from the heart matters most.
You should have felt it.

2009-08-10T13:29:00.002+08:00

Why can't it just end already?

The only thing that are having me hang down there is The script and SwitchFoot.
I look foward to Halo cos there's so much more meant to live and i dare myself to move!.
Ok now i'm talking crap. The climb got me motivational-ish as well.
Here's to 3 more months in a man-made hell. Other than that, camp is a pretty serene place after all.

the Runaway

2009-08-09T14:03:00.003+08:00

"Sometimes I wonder if anything is absolute anymore. Is there still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable, left to interpretation, gray? Sometimes were forced to bend the truth? to transform it because we are faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes, things simply catch up with us."

A story has chapters in our lives to unveil. But yet our stories can never end with chapters with happy endings. It's always till the end that our final fate is revealed. Our lives is in that many chapters, with it's end in grey. At least mine is.

"Do you ever wonder how long it takes to change your life? What measure of time is enough to be life altering? Is it four years like high school? One year? An eight week rock tour? Can your life change in a month, or a week, or a single day? We're always in a hurry to grow up, to go places, to get ahead. And when you're young, one hour can change everything."

18km East Coast AHM Training

The surge ahead towards the 18km goal.

In life, there will always be others to pull you down, or slow you in your tracks. In the end, it's up to you to step up and leap ahead of them.

"And Hansel said to Gretel, 'Let us drop these breadcrumbs... so that together we find our way home. Because losing our way would be the most cruel of things.' This year.. I lost my way."

But I'm always blessed to have my friends : The memories that lasts each day with a smile that eases all pain and gloom away. =) to the sunshines of my life.

"The journey lasted twenty two months. Sometimes I traveled alone, sometimes, there were others who took the wheel -- and took my heart. But when the destination was reached, it wasn’t me who arrived...it wasn't me at all."

August Rush Part 1

2009-08-08T08:54:00.003+08:00

For the month of July, it's been whole weekends of meetings and meetings. true there have been much fun, but sadly, very little meet ups with people whom have hardly met recently.

Well August have started, and soon it will end and i'll do the annual wake me up when september ends moments.

I'm in camp and completing my 2nd Last Duty before i officially hand over to a understudy whom is capable of doing a much better job than i do.

Well here's some moments captured in the month of August thus far.

Rotaract District Assembly [ RDA]

RAC NW with District Governor Datuk Latip and Datin.
The future of RAC NW is in our hands : Irene and Freds.
Mac Attack!!

TRU 7 meetup : Yin's Birthday
Fiona, YinYin, Siya, Freddy. Absence: Bryan, Delvin and Zhuo Wei.

My twin sister .

I don't even know why my face was cherry red.

Back seat girls.
Our driver of the evening.
Bring back those happy memories!

Of Turmoils and Blackholes.

2009-08-08T08:33:00.002+08:00

One thing that has been making me feel so completely speechless and astounded as been the actions in which i least suspected. The times of god fellowship and bonds have ended i guess. It was there to start with, but it detriments as the aging of work passes by.

It's just so ironic how a person A can go telling everyone how important that person B is to him and yet that A complains he doesn't get reciprocated back with what he gives and there he's also the exact same type of person as whom he mentions to other people.

But in the end, it's seeing that everyone's been so perfect that my eyes and thoughts led me astray. No one is perfect. People may seem so eager to pull off their own coolness and exclusiveness but in the end, what are we living for anyway?

A place of inbred hatred? A society where you get to be the cool and the others losers? Or a place where people can coexist together like one? It just lead me to wonder.

When what we talked about in the past was a pure and harmonious friendship, today is a war path where the place we are in is in turmoil and confusion caused by us. Ourselves.

Beneath the politics and it all, there's a thousand scars and broken hearts waiting to be mend, simply because no one wanted it to happen that way. No one is truely evil, but one can be lead by thoughts of grey and uncertainty to what leads to pain felt by everyone affected.

And i ask this question again : What are we living for exactly?

Influence in the end, is something to reckon with. What can go against you in that word can kill you completely. In the end, it's from the heart that true friendships are formed. And not by the power of influence.

And here i wondered what God taught us all. What he tried to teach. To you.

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

No one likes politics. But everyone seem so intent in it . Politics ain't a blackhole that seeps everyone in, but a stalker waiting to seep in to our very own foundations and cracks it finds.

Of life and sounds

2009-07-25T18:34:00.003+08:00

I'm back for an update [ like finally!!] and it's been a really melodramatic week for me.

My healthy lifestyle update first: Hmm it was a great / huge / dramatically wrong regret to have actually binge drink 4 nights in a row when I know i have a competition a few days away.
Yes, the 16km Timor Barat Run was one huge sacrifice from my binge drinking.

I was alright at first as i surge ahead with the prime runners in my team. But after 4 km of fast stridings, my big headache came. and i thought i would die there.

But i completed it, with a major upset. My timing was pathetic. 1hr 25 mins.
I'm gonna conquer this timing with a better timing. Till next week's 16km run!!!

Well, sometimes i enjoy being in camp and loving the moments spent there. The people, the jokes and all the lazing around the office level. But there are siply times when i just loathe the moments and wish that evrything would just go away. Or simply, i wanna get away.

The office politics have been killing me for months, whether they affect me directly or other people. What my friend said made sense. There's hardly much politics in places where it's emphasis is on physical capabilities, meaning outfield and infantry related aspects. This is because time i spent running sweeating and there's lots of teamwork required in these type of tasks. So like the saying goes, 'helmets on means no more thinking'.

This is compared to places where the environment is mostly office based. Well as there's nothing much physical to do. Most of te tme is spent behind the desk racking your brain cells or just letting it rot. And times are spent evesdropping on your neighbour's conversations. This results in a natural hobby of 'tiao bo li jian' [ sowing discord] With nothing much to do , gossips fly and times are spent on waging cold political wars.

SO you see the difference between infantry life and signals life? Fascinating.

There may only be about 3 and a half months left for me in the force, but i still value this place even though it has left behind nightmares but with it's fair shares of wonderful moments.

Honestly i feel that my unit destroys friendships made before going in there. Or should i say 8 SIG is a test of friendships?

well enough with my NS life.

Just completed my Rotaract Installation today, with it's theme of Setlers @ NW [ boardgame cafe themed ]
I'm holding on to the position of Professional Development for this upcoming year and i'm pretty excited to get the club moving forward, seeing that this year would be a year to start learning more and getting prepared for a transition from the 'aged' club to a 'youthful' club. This is because most of my club's Rotaractors would be graduating next year, leaving us youngsters to run the club.

Well the installation went smoothly. Irene have been complaining this past few weeks that i didn't bring my camera along. Infact all my friends have been lamenting about my cam's disappearance. It's in HK and it's coming back in 2 weeks time!!

I've been talking about moving on for a while on and i feel that i'm really ready to truely let go.
I've taken 3 long years to really step out. and i want t make it count. so here i go . . .

With that, i should be ending my weekend since my 3 clubbing invites for tonight are cancelled.
Thanks you bitch shawn heehee.

Here's to more proposals to be drafted out for my club and APRRC!!

2009-07-21T22:07:00.000+08:00

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

I only know when things are intolerable, it's time to get going. Time for a long long break.

drinking the roomful

2009-07-11T03:26:00.003+08:00

How have i been spending my 10 days of off??
Either staying at home nursing a broken heart or
been spending my nights & early mornings @ Roomful of blues drinking and drinking.
Basically thats it. Prolly can't run anymore. arrgh. My liver is like dead by now.

Here we are @ Roomful. Hwee Ying, myself and hoehan.

Pre-drinks shot.

After drinks.

CHeers amigos!

2 more nights of freedom before i kick my butt back into the cell on monday~~

How would it have been

2009-07-07T23:17:00.002+08:00

How do we ever know if the move we made was right?
How do you know if you set the correct jailed bird free?
How would you know if you're doing the right thing?
And how would you know if you're ready to be set free?

It all started when we thought we knew it all.

The big question.

2009-07-05T23:40:00.002+08:00

It is so a-typical of a guy who meets girl, falls in love with her and the next stop, get laid.
Frankly speaking, this is probably, correct myself, THE fantasy of almost all the guys that i've ever known. Unless the girl is not of their expectations. Meaning fat, ugly, fat, ugly. Fat & Ugly.

I just find it so fascinating that we're all living in this simply superficial world of ours called, Earth. Wow. Tell me about it.

It has been so painstakingly reminded to me about losers being out of love so much today through mediums of your romantic soapoperas, comdey shows. Whatever that was shown into my eyes that told me straight : I'm a loser.

How wonderful to see my mum watching the korean drama called 'Full House' where I have to witness the dilema of the cute korean actress whom reminds me of the girl of my current life. And there she goes toying with fate, extending the drama episodes with scenes of heavy rain, her walking away and sad strong instrumental music by the background, illustrating the fact that they can't be together as of yet in this love serial. Isn't it simply gruesome, especially when i got a wakeup call at 3am that it's not meant to be?

And again, it's deliberating for me to watch a whole season of 'How I met Your mother' considering that it's a comedy but about a loser who can't seem to get the girl of his life to be in his life. And how often he seems so desperate yet in the end he goes back to fall in love with the same girl over and over again. It's just so haunting that i feel so pictured in that show. 'Cept for the fact that he ends up telling his kids in year 2030 about his life and i'm not sure if i will get to do that.

And then there's yesterday night of hanging out with my buddy whom doesn't believe so much into love. But all merry and drinks. A push of a 'send' button on my Handphone brought that supposedly sacred and well timed 3 words all the way to Honkie Land. And now, my life's pretty much sobered and well awaken. I would like to be, at this point in time drunk and wasted. But nothing's working.

There's the heavy rain banging my window still the whole of today as i tried to sleep through it all. Telling myself that there's no point to gloom over it when the world is probably just crying out for you now. There's too many heartbreaks and sorrows all around the world that mine is just one of the many microscopic molecules to form up this storm.

Maybe it's just time to go gay afterall. The whole world is just prolly waiting for me to make that move.

2009-07-05T19:28:00.001+08:00

I continue to walk that line alone.
Where i've stopped at that particular dot of that line
waiting for you all that while.
But you didn't wait.

It's simply not over
Cos it never began.

But what's magical was seeing you in that long shot.

It has never been you. It was always me,

2009-07-05T11:45:00.002+08:00

It's over . To friendship.

There never was an expected happy ending after all. Only insults coming in, one after another.
I felt numb even when you closed the book.

Maybe thats the way out. Exit.

Bright shimmery Light

2009-07-02T20:26:00.003+08:00

Feels good.

The feeling of home. Of a family of friends and people.

It was like the light would never shine at the end of that tunnel.

It does. Now.

one week has passed and gone. In a flash.

The team who sent Jeanette off to HK.

Here's with what's happening in camp . Our latest MV.

my bitch buddy and i

2009-06-29T23:02:00.002+08:00

It seems so weird that when you're gone , it pains to see you fly away.
That feeling that can't seems to go away.
What's breaking even when all that breaks is the whole of my heart?

6 weeks more . Enjoy Hk and the suite life there.

The best part of me was you.

Your smile. Honey.
Your tears. Pain.
Your sorrow. Needles.
You. Priceless.

Take it away

2009-06-24T12:04:00.002+08:00

If you're still a friend, nothing doesn't matter cos you've got me you would say.
If you're no longer one . I guess this is the end you will text.

This is what we call a clean cut clears it all.

I've been pretty engrossed and fixated on my PSP console this past few days. It might have just became my new hobby for after hours. I really wonder how office hours and afterhours have become such a drag especially when you're so bored to pieces.

Oh, guess what? I just received a sms from MOE stating that i've been accepted on my interview for BA in Edu with NIE. But the start of the sms stated another name. Haa maybe they sent wrongly. LOL.

I can't breathe much longer. Take it off. Take it off. Not.

Solidarity

2009-06-24T08:36:00.002+08:00

Sometimes a friend could just walk away when you need him. Is that a friend.
Sometimes a friend can be so well sighted to see your flaws yet so blind in seeing your emotions.
Sometimes a friend can just pretend he didn't see you. Sometimes He justs wants to keep you at bay.
Is he Sometimes not my friend and Other than Sometimes my friend?

I know that Other Than SOmetimes happens when he wants a ear, needs to punching bag and something to verbally comment about.

It's like suffocating under a mask that seeks to lasts.
It's not so much the dying or suffocating part. But the part that it slowly kills you.
I rather a quick death than a slow momentous and torturous one.

Crusts

2009-06-20T13:46:00.003+08:00

I daresay i'm not suited out for the environment i'm in now,
It just kinda happens that i have like 4 months and 20 days left before i officially quit.
I'm an attention seeker, so thats what they all call me.

NS is sooooo not a place for that.

Behaviours are just so hard to change.
But I'm trying.

We all know places for people like me . The Entertainment Industry. You have your fair share of limelight over that. And it's never enough. It just gets in right into your tiny little head.
Well , here's to trying staying Low. And hope that it lasts for the amount of time mentioned above.

May the Paparrazzi die from digging me out=)

Here's past week's happening's:

Me against the entire world.

PuayLeng, Qian Hui, Leo and Myself =)

The Girls and I =)

Here's to a strictly private life and Enjoy the remaining rotten crusts!

3 sights.

2009-06-18T19:11:00.002+08:00

Hello.
I'm back from a pretty tiring week.
There was the Badminton tourney on mon. Where the join-for-fun experience was pretty quirky and funny. Well, i kinda feel bad. Ok i feel VERY bad for kinda disgracing the Signals Team, cos

1) I'm pretty amaterish @ Badminton with no training wat-so-ever.
2) Kinda got trashed badly by the Arty doubles team.

But Signals still emerged victorious even though i screwed up one match. And the only one i played . [ Laughs ]

The following day Tiger trail emerged.
The ultimate glory of clinching 16km and 13 knolls/hills within a very threatening 2 hours/ 120mins.
Some fade and die off whilst others survive the madness and claim ultimate glory.
For me, i didn't fared too badly, although i didn't manage to clear ALL 13 hills, i was short of 1.
It's an unforgettable experience that spurred on my Mental strength to carry on and surge forward.
Running alongside another fellow teammate , 1SG Cheng Aik , really did help me mentally. And FYI, he's really Fast ! He cleared all the hills. I kinda feel guilty for stalling him at some point for my slightly longer water breaks.

Well, i received Best Soldier of the Month of April award in my unit. And i wanna thank so many people for their support, even though i know i don't really deserve it, with news and all.
My OC Cpt Edwin , RSM, CSM Msg Chan, my PS-es, my fellow 3SGs , my Coy: Bravo and every other personnel who helped me along way my projects.
It's not a big hooha award, but to me, your support picked me up at my lowest points, and your helping shoulders, hands, eyes have build onto the success to my Artworks i present to the Bn.
Without you, i'm not even worth a pinch of salt .

Pain is when it hits you where you least expect.
Uncertainty is when blindness takes over your sight.
Helplessness is when all thats left for you to do is to watch your life crumble into shades of dust.

When there's the 3 of them flanking me, all there's left to do is to end it all?

Weary Dusk

2009-06-13T10:27:00.005+08:00

With every month that passes by, I feel older with the thought knowing that I will miss every single moment i once savoured.

Afternoon with the gals at Vivo.

Chilling out at TimeZone for Basketball .

With Racing as a post mortem.

And Beer @ Harry's as a dessert.

Night PC fair with the guys.

The Biggest Winner @ the PC Fare : Neo!

SUpper @ Thompson Road : Prata!!

After the prata, there were thoughts of second round ....

Supper @ CHomp CHomps Serangoon Garden.

With the end of each night comes a time where dawn must take over the weary dusk . . .

2009-06-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

i can't afford to tell you knowing i'll lose you again the moment i do.
Even if you already knew.
Were you waiting for me to say it to you or were you , like me avoiding it all along.

It's been hard trying to forget you, knowing you were all i could think of all along.

I wish i could , but i know i couldn't.
Would i be able to follow you through wherever you flew?

The creep

2009-06-10T19:43:00.002+08:00

Tiger Trail : involving a 16km run along a treacherous road and conquering 13 knolls and hills within a span of 2 hours.

Today was my tiger trail trial, held at 3 Div. It was good to see old faces like Yee Wen, my BMT section mate.

The trail was so tiring. I had many thoughts of giving up during the trail. The KNolls are simply too steep that you had to slowly walk up. Going down was toughest. Once you gain wind, there's no way you could have stop. I thank my Staff SGt for grabbing my hand before i went full steam into the trees!
One guy actually lost control and went straight into a constantina wire! Ouch.

well, i conquered 11 hills out of 13 and am i glad!!

Now i can hardly move and i'm simply too tired to do anything else.

On a side note, i can't wait for my understudy to come take over my duties. woots!
APparently the new specs seem pretty arrogant and all. tch tch.

28 June is slowly creeping in.

When the wind blows

2009-06-06T21:49:00.003+08:00

Adieus!

I like the wind blowing when i sail through the wind in just my FBTs and bare body.

Life has been faithfully peaceful and i thank God for that.

been doing a few projects there and there during the month of may and june. And with every month that passes by it means a day closer to a new path wavering ahead.

Right now, running has been something on the top of my mind. With Tiger Trail and AHM coming up, it's bound to get exciting than ever.

The only thing that has been on my mind was and still is , You.
I am dreading the day when you board that plane and be 2 months away .
To you i'm just a friend. To me, you're more than that.

End.

2009-05-23T00:31:00.001+08:00

There is always somewhere, someone for other people to fall back on , always.
But is there any for me?

I feel like i'm falling into some bottomless pit without any form of haven.

I want an end.

This time

2009-05-17T14:30:00.004+08:00

As sunset converges with the horizon, Life takes a bleak change towards a sombre yet quiet outlook.

Taking a break from a socialite culture, it sought a whole new meaning for me . The Red Light that had me stopped on my track . The busy traffic that has always been zooming pass me which i had never notice whilst always on the move to climb up ahead. And now i did realise it's importance and meaning.

You might have the best of qualities or skills. But what breaks you or helps you climb higher are the people around you.

I now see with my eyes open.

There was one movie that really touched the crybaby in me. August Rush.
Love that got lost for 11 years.

'The story of a charismatic young Irish guitarist and a sheltered young cellist who have a chance encounter one magical night above New York's Washington Square, but are soon torn apart, leaving in their wake an infant, August Rush, orphaned by circumstance. "

"This is a story of a music prodigy. Lyla is a renowned and beautiful cellist and Louis is a bass player in club. Lyla and Louis falls in love once they meet each other following the music. Since they have different life, they have to separate without seeing each other once again. However, Lyla has had their baby-Evan, a prodigy born to music. Lyla has an accident and bears the baby but Lyla's father gives the baby to an orphanage but does not tell her this in case of affecting her career. After that, both Louis and Lyla give up the music career. Eleven years later, the poor little Evan believes that their parents are waiting for him and goes to New York to find his parents."

Life is such a fragile piece of the world.
Love has been a missing piece in my heart. With the moon as a sculpture that hangs beautifully in the night sky, it's thinking of you that makes me strong to go on.

Tonight the sky above
Reminds me how to love
Walking through wintertime
Where the stars all shine
The angel on the stairs
Will tell you I was there
Under the front porch light
On a mystery night

I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind
This time

~ August Rush OST, This Time by Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay
~Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade

When the one thing you’re looking for
Is nowhere to be found
And you back stepping all of your moves
Trying to figure it out
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head’s wrapped around what’s around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm
'Cause you’re shivering cold
It’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you

So long you’ve been running in circles
'Round what’s at stake
But now the times come for your feet to stand still in one place

It was your first taste of love
Living upon what you had

It’s the first thing you see when you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
~Something Inside , August Rush OST

A beautiful fairytale of 2 very different yet similar people, what hurts the most was you never being close. I love you.

Wed night fever

2009-05-07T16:21:00.005+08:00

Drinks. Chats. All a good night's way to spending time together.

It was a good time for the 3 of us to know more about each other. { esp me} since i'm like extremely lousy in answering the questions posed about all my friends.
It just made me realised how much i'm getting all the attention and i give so little of mine.
And HY [ as usual] answered all my questions correctly. ANd i answered all of Jeanette's wrong!! Most la. But with beer frenzy and all the finger games. It's a cosy night getaway.

I'm finally booking in tonight. Rather relentless to book in. But it's a must since i have to find out all the happenings that i missed out on!

Been giving tuition lately. 2 of my EVG boys and 5 CHIJ girls. BUSY BUSY!

Time will be spent with every ounce of my thoughts in it. COs Life is brilliant. Isn't it?

Jeanette!

Hwee Ying

the 3 Haviannas.

LISTS

2009-05-05T23:51:00.002+08:00

More often than not, Breathing in fresh air on a quiet Night is mind inspiring and thoughts vigorating.

After running 5km just now [ and i'm feeling dead beat for God forsaken reasons] , and chatting with friends i've long not been in contact with, I've realised how Lost i am . And i should get back en route towards a Goal-Driven life. It's often Goals that set you on fire with your determination and spirits coming back alive.

I realised that the Old friends whom memories i have should not be memories. Instead burn away those memories and create new ones . Note the word used of 'Realised' shows me how much i actually treasure their being my once close friend.
And that is I have to thank all the happenings in Camp.
they made me realised how spoilt i am to have care shown for me. And who have been showing their love for me? Those whom we lost in that fire as we treaded down our own futuristic paths.
The people whom spoils me and gone through so much Shit and fun with me. God where are they now?
They might be on Facebook but they aren't meeting up with me much.
SO my goal : Find them before they're lost forever. I'm sure they're finding me as well.

I feel kinda inferior when i see people COMMITTED to hobbies like Bikes, Food tasting, Gumdam models, Cell, Music and looking at my own free time : I have none. I mean i have stuff in which i'm interested in . But my active laziness has got me no where. I need to start with this period of time in which i am deemed free instead of being dull.
Too much clubbing makes you an empty product in the end.
And Especially with Camp bros like James and Kenneth doing their regimental Working out exercises and making me feel so inferior [ in terms of body sense only] PLUS my Bro's Danson SECRET regime of 4-5 months which got his BOD in Hot mode. I see the urge to get started!!
Looking Good is important. I'm a vain guy after all.

Now all i need to do is to really Not just sit down and surf the Net [ the soul draining device] but to sit down and make lists of what i truely want to acheive and do in my period of being 20.

Ok. Ready Get Set. GO!

2009-05-05T11:18:00.002+08:00

I'm Barely Breathing
with a broken heart
Thats still breathing

My 1 week vacation from camp has been going on so well that i realised that i ain't thinking so much anymore.
All the Enjoyment of the Outside air [ who cares if Swiney is out there malingering] has made my mind clear.

But i'm just praying to myself that once i enter back in, i would exit without being someone so gloomy.

If someone is against me i rather they coming to tell me straight rather than mind games.

ROund 2

2009-05-03T14:41:00.007+08:00

So after Friday's Trip, came Saturday.
It was tiring no doubt. But fun's still on ! Of course i have to have my trusty cam with me on this one !

Met Mr Long in my Mr A-z look.

Such a camwhore am i.

Here's mr Ryan, Ops spec in a Puss-In-Boots Look.

And the Long guy.

Here's Bjorn.

And Ryan again. Rock On Specs!

The Log Clerk in action.

It's like a mini Bn cohesion where 1 rep from almost everywhere come together. But it's like 3 HQ and 2 Bravo.

Here's me looking like a boy who flaunt his temper.

MORE camera Time !! sayd freddy.

I like this look. Even though it meant concealing my eyes.

Yes i Love.

Hello. Please aim properly.

The feeling is absolutely stunning!!

Here's the pose i've been practising for the ladies. i had to use Long as my guinea pig hahaha.

I'm tired cos the party ended at 6am. Gosh.

Round 1

2009-05-02T11:52:00.002+08:00

LAbour DAy was spent in a place which i was to avoid. Town.
With my 2 buds Kenneth and Nicholas.

I just love attention.

It's very rare to have my 2 good friends to go out together. Cos they're in diff cliques and walks of life. Good, now that they can talk, i don't have to plan separate outings with them anymore. muahahaha

After dinner it was ..... after much reluctance and me wearing berms... it was ..

POWER HOUSE!!

Kenneth Me and Nicholas.

BoilerRoom was pretty awesome. It was when we're headed to Powerhouse when Kc's men got drunk. and he laid on the floorings of like the lobby. and we had to spend a good 2 hours outside trying to make him sober. Plus the guy [ called eugene] would be doing duty @ 8am.

After much efforts [ with the bouncers help] , we finally got him home via his sister. loads of drama, loads of shouting by KC [ cos he was pretty gone ] i kinda took control of the whole situation by slapping his face, splashing ice water on him[ breaking 2 glasses in the process] , making him suck lemon and lime and massaging him.

Wow this are traits of freddy even i have never seen before: Taking care of drunk people.

Probably i will never let myself get drunk again cos i will be a burden. opps.

With that, i have another round tonight @ PH.

I'm really broke and soggy now.

Perhaps.

2009-05-01T00:12:00.002+08:00

When Life's all tumbled and crashing , I love i have something to lean on.

It's knowing i have you to look for that keeps me going forth.

When Life's a mess, directions are fuzzy

it's all ok cos i know things you will be there to look out for me.

Life is a very messed up tale right now.

RDC - the road to Melaka

2009-04-20T17:26:00.027+08:00

As most of you know, i went to Melaka on the 17th April !!

The purpose: Rotaract District Conference 2009 held by the RAC Kota Melaka!

For those of you who do not know:

Rotaract is a Rotary-sponsored service club for young men and women aged 18 to 30. Rotaract clubs are usually community-based or tertiary-based and are sponsored by a local Rotary club making them true "partners in service" and key members of the Rotary family.

And for those who would like to find out more, please visit : http://district3310.blogspot.com/ for information about Rotaract in our District =)

I have been in the Rotaract Club of Northwest for the 4th year now, since 2006 =)

Upon reaching Melaka at around Lunch time, i visited a Nonya Cafe called the BullDog Cafe.
Lunch was for once, interestingly filled with the nonya heritage and culture.

As the programme starts only @ 7 and i had time to kill, i visited my bro and sis who were setting up a Booth at the Rotary DIstrict Assembly at another Hotel.

Pretending to be a Pro Photographer ain't difficult after all hee.

But the True Blue photographers are the 2 beside me : Haz and Calvin.

The sister that has been looking out for me since i joined Rotaract, Wendy.

I decided to explore the streets of Melacca for a bit since i had some time to kill. .

<
As we all gathered at the Lobby of our hotel @ 7pm, we had a ride to the prety famous food market in town . .

Newton Food Centre!

Claypot rice, BaK Kut Teh, Popiah all very Delectable!!

Smoke break and Coffee is definitel a much needed thing to do after dinner.

Back at the Hotel , we had our Ice Breaking session . We were broken up into 5 teams.

Hang Tuah, Kasturi, Jebat, Lekir and Lekiu.

I was in Hang Tuah.

We had a surprise Birthday Celebration for our DRR [ District Rotaract Representative] Wee.

As he makes his grand entrance unknowningly [ he suspects]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The Night couldn't just end there. Michael and Boon had hidden stashes of Whiskey and Chivas. So knowing Freddy very well .......

Drinking Night!!!!

Thats me looking ready to gulp down that WHiskey!!

Xin Yi from RAC Marina City and myself all high and excited .

I love WHISKEY =]]] i was pretty high by then . 4 glasses down in a few mins.

The whole gang relaxing in Rm 514.

I think i was pretty high when i took this shot. I'm praying i had no accidents . . .

WIld and High!

And as we drank more and more. . . .

Opps. The fox's tail revealed. Mr Camwhore in action!!

As i woke up groggily to day 2 . . it was the opening ceremony of the COnference.

The PDRR and me.

The DRRE and Me.

Rotaractors!!

The Rotary Family =)

In the afternoon was the Team games.

The first game was called Charades.

The second was the Describe the picture game where we had to relay descirptions of a picture to our artist, who have never seen the picture before.

WHislt busy relaying the discriptions . . .

Lilian Busy drawing what seems to be the correct Discriptions...

Our Artists . . .

Her final Product!!

The next game was the STep Up competition, where teams have to choreograph a dance of at least 1 min.

Of course , Hang Tuah won that session with it's beautiful moves to the song of Pump It. The video will be up when i get hold of it =)

What we had in line next was our RIver Cruise . . and as we gathered outside the hotel with instructions to our Amazing Hunt. .

Team Tuah with Captain Zack!

The Tasks we had to accomplish were all up there. Looking petrifyingly hard.

All Ready for the Big Night!

President Amanda and me.

On the Bus . .

We must have been very bored to do so . . .

Team Tuah!

AS we await the cruise to begin . .

Our Amazing Hunt starts at Jonker Walk, the busy Night street in Melaka.

Our Devil, Zack!

HAving Pineapples [ part of our task]

The task was simply to just have one member kiling another with a samurai sword....

but our team decided to pump it all up . . .

Robin and the really BITTER Tea.

The Reaction states it all.

Amanda had to be creative with the dodol. We call this picture : Crying Dodol Tears.

Our paper looking very detailed on who to do which tasks. . .

As we consume the Chendol and Lasksa as part of our tasks. . .

And Amanda and Zack , as usual. . .

But all well ends well for them . . . [ They aren't together , and no this isn't a task. they're just going drama]

And now comes one of the most anticipated task . . .

GETTING A TATTOO!!!!

Myself getting all scared with the devil behind me!!

Everyone shocked and silent.

Tada!!! It's temporary lah!

Team Hang Tuah all happy and wild during the amazing hunt!

Me trying to sell some products to a lady whom i pitied to have to hear me explain.

More acting . .

And after the hunt, with some time left for shopping. . .

After the whole night hunt, we retreated back to our hotel rooms . And xinyi and i after finishing our grp prep, had supper!!

with beer!!!
And.....
Nope it's not a scandal.. but we were all so exhausted and high at the same time!

The 3rd Morning!! We had our grp presentations. where with all the shots we taken for the tasks, we had to come out with s story . .

At the end of 3 days, HANG TUAH emerged Champs!!

We were originally the team to beat. WHy?

We had the few most wild and energetic people. [by looking at all the pics]

FEllowship didn't just end here. The few who stayed had lunch @ a Perenakan Restaurant.

More acting.

On our car ride back . . .

And our Driver himself. . .

It was a fun and exciting experience for me. Not to forget, wild.

2 Nights straight of drinking has got my face red still from the alchohol teh following morning, even lasting till the late afternoon!!

Now that RDC is over, it's Installations that i'm looking forward to, and not to forget the grand event of the year, APRRC - Asia Pacific Rerional Rotaract COnference , which is held in singapore.

And i'll be in the publicity team. Looking forward to it!!

SO friends, if you're above 18 and would like to join me in this fellowship learning club, contact me =))

Never Birthdays.

2009-04-14T18:27:00.002+08:00

Birthdays , in my life has never been awarded much highlights nor anticipation.

This year, it has not been much of a difference. The same old thing again.
Although i tell myself, birthday is the day where things are rebirthed and everything will change for the better.

I only know things have been on a slidefall recently and whether it will start climbing upwards? Thats another question altogether , for people who makes my life miserable to answer.

Today has been fruitfully rewarding. Spending an afternoon with a friend , relating in experiences in all that have happened and analysing things in a very perspective way.

I hope everyday would be like this, where time i taken to relive memories of that day.

it.

2009-04-11T23:52:00.004+08:00

I wanna watch 500 days of summer.
That's so random.

Anyway i'm a good boy today. Decided to skip clubbing since i have been drinking wildly on mon, wed and fri. Good right? my liver has been asking me for a break. and He needs it.

Thanks for the early birthday lunch today. Plus the card and present. I loveeee them.
Today is a sainty day. I never felt so relieved before.

But it all came back again.

When you told me you were going away , 1001 things flashed through my mnd like a hurricane storm. But issing you was what recurred. And it made me realise how much more important you actually are to me. and that i was ready and willing to wait tll you came back. But it was a joke from you

Even when the World stops spinning, i'll wait for you. Cos i won't lose you. again.

exceptional. momento.

2009-04-11T08:57:00.003+08:00

Hockey Mates .
Zhiwei . Kenneth. Jeremy. Clement. Jane. Phebe. Freddy.

It's been a long time for a get together like this. 1.5 years, to be exact.

Honestly, Good Friday was really Sainty. Everything from a heavy me was reduced, or simply say, relieved to someone lighter.
It felt so much better out there releasing all that unwanted pressure from work.
Uh huh, i call it work cos it doesn't feel like NS at all. It's too office like!

From COmbat Battlefield to L4D to Retail Therapy to Carl's Junior , it was cool!

The real highlight had got to be the stay @ Clement's!
After purchasing our mixers, we had like a pretty quiet Guitar Hero World Tour session.
Um.. except the part i got too engrossed as a singer that i woke his family up @ 2am!!!
House For Dead 3 and Mario KArt were like our next victims and then we UN-Soberly hitted clem's room where we got further drunk and got very very emo with our history with girls.
Lau u sucks!! haha.

Well when 4 heartbroken man get together, it means Sex in the City and spilled over cups of Vodkha . In the end, after the dirty drunken action, we woke up like dead. Me and J.lau on clem's bed , whilst clem and kenneth on the floor.

ANyway, today is an important day. Why? It's Jeanette's 20th!!! Happy birthday!!
I gotta catch my wink cos i'm meeting miss important today. And happy birthday to Fiona my twin sister !!! your 21st!!!

It's been a while since i had such a pretty happy post. Esp with all that had happened in camp . .

Consensus

2009-04-09T20:50:00.002+08:00

I'm very tired. I really am.

All this have gone quite far. I needed a break. I drank. So what?

I really do understand how Artistes feel when they have scandals/ or their Career going downslope. Everyone's Watching. It's like how everyone's watching me with Eagle Eyes.

I have never been the most well liked or what not, but simply just the camp's WIldest and Carefree Spec with a spirit full of Just.

It's ok that i ain't close to my platoon. One , there's nothing in common other than work. Two, Professionalism doesn't bring over to Personal time.

SO i don't see why people must stare so much as in bat so many a eyelids when i get drunk at night in camp. It's my personal night man and i have reported it to the BOS.

SOmetimes when people think you're slack and useless when you have done so much, You wish to be appreciated.

I'm ok being out of the circle. But at least i know i make an impact to your lives.
I'm glad i have colleagues/friends whom are with me In this together. We will make a difference. Since day 1 we entered, be it on different days we did it will boil down to this,
Our Own Justice!

I'm Freddy. DOn't pinPoint me. I may draw the line clearly, but I work with professionalism. I don't need you to be my friend or for me to be yours to work.

Take Me away.

2009-04-07T21:48:00.002+08:00

denied.
Never seen to exist.
Taken advantage over.
As power is to an tiny ant.
Camaderie with fellow specs like a rotten fruit.

Respect is.

Sometimes getting drunk would take away that pain. Through Numbing.
It felt good being taken away for that long moment. I wished it never ends.
I tried to get away physically away today. And it worked. But stepping back in again, it sucks.

I hope i never get to miss you. Again.

Emotions of a wasted.

2009-04-05T14:52:00.002+08:00

Post A1 clubbing @ DBLo : Hoe Han. Jerome. Zhi Liang. Nicholas. Freds.

I want you to want me.

The weekends have been spent all @ Clarke Quay. Kinda sick of it already.

Friday Night dinner at Brewerk followed by DBLO.

Sat Night Dinner at Liang Court followed by DBLO. Again.

Loads of old faces at DBLO. Loads of shots.

Loads of sadness.

And that, a sleepover @ Nicholas's.

Life's Boring.without you.

Friday Night and Saturday Clubbing doesn't mean i'm having so much fun.

It means getting wasted so has to forget you for that short few hours.

So that thinking of you won't hurt so much anymore.

Ambers.

2009-04-04T17:10:00.002+08:00

Tiredness.
Wishing the day never starts.
As if the walls are all that surrounds me.

I'm feeling

If watching you. No. If waiting for you from this far distance is all that i can do for you, I would give it all up.

But i can't. I didn't, Cause i couldn't.

that dark cornerstone

2009-04-02T23:17:00.002+08:00

Social butterfly unable to settle.
Antelope forever striding on, unable to stop.
Chasing a flowing river that meanders into the infinite horizon.

As that of a

Consumed by the individuality of being rare.
Darkness Surrounds only me.

my social life is

Always squinting for your fading back.
Reaching out for a hand that never embraces.
Staying by a phone that never rings.
Needles that never seem to stop entering in me.

Loving you is

I'm Yours.

2009-03-30T16:38:00.002+08:00

I may not have the softest touch.
I may not say the words as such.
And though I may not look like much.

I'm yours.

2009-03-27T20:34:00.001+08:00

Motionless.

Devoid of feelings.

Unpredictable moods.

Deviating goals.

My life is.

The Great Chase

2009-03-27T11:42:00.001+08:00

When Life gets too roughed up in the Big Chase, there's nothing more than taking a step back and taking time off.

A cycling route from East Coast to Tampines was what had me chasing after on a Thursday Afternoon. Hot and sweaty, the cycling trip entrance.

Captured on Pure on-the-go-experience by the above.

Chasing after 3 Tengah AirBase boys sure ain't easy.

So sometimes, we should get lay back and let the cam do the snapping.

Derrick.

Kenneth.

And on our stop at Changi Beach Connector,

Tekong Now looks so little now that we have all gotten Tekong way behind our backs more than a year ago.

Although it seems like a few weeks back when we were all in there.

Our tired out bikes.

As Sunset converges with dusken sky, it only means moving on cause the day is no longer in existance.